Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
