my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
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