brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
