Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
...so i touched it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
