Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
