I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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