You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
