do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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