i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
