Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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