he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
