I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
