You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
