i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You ruined the universe
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