i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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