Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
