Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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