I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Mom said you looked used
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
