Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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