i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
