im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
