I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
