**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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