I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
