I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
