I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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