I just saw a hot homeless man
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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