Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
