Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
