am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
