Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
