So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
