he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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