maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
