Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
