You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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