plz talk dirty to me
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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