do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
