I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
