We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
