I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
