you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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