bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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