you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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