wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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