I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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