Pappa wants mamma naked
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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