i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
