I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
