My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
