ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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