The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
