If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
