In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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