I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
