I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
