Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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