I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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