Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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