So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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