Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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